You know your child(ren) best. Teaching them about Surrogacy, and why it is so important is going to look different for every family. You would be surprised how much children actually understand when you’re just clear and honest with them. Tell them about why you want to become a Surrogate, tell them about your Intended Parents, tell them how you can’t imagine your life without your own child(ren) and how you are going to be giving this gift to your Intended Parents. We suggest a video call if your child(ren) would like to meet your Intended parents. Tell your child(ren) about why they are so important in your life and how you want the Intended Parents to experience the joy of having child(ren), just like Mommy gets to!
Often children are very excited and proud, and want to share this with other people, sometimes with complete strangers. Ensure that when you share information with your child(ren), that you are clear about what you want shared with your community and what is private. Now comes the question of “when”. This answer will be different for every family. Surrogacy journeys can be a bit of a hurry up & wait. Some families like to wait and tell their children once they are officially pregnant, while others like to share every step with the kids. From meeting the Intended Parents, to sharing what IVF looks like to sometimes even traveling together to appointments. This will be a comfort level for you as a parent, and there is no right or wrong time to share the news with your children.
We also suggest some children’s literature that can help explain the different ways that families are created. Here are a few books we recommend adding to your home library:
• The Kangaroo Pouch By: Sarah Philips Pellet
• Hope & Will Have a Baby By: Irene Celce
• And Tango Makes ThreeBy: Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson
• What makes a babyby: Cory Silverberg One of things we love about sharing Surrogacy with our children is that It may help make surrogacy a normal part of everyday life and conversation, helping your children to be more open-minded and accepting of families of all backgrounds.
If you are looking for more ideas or want to talk to the team here at Hive about how to “break the news” to your kids, we are always here to help!